Can't think of a title...

Beside is a piccy of me (on end standing) and Matt (trainer on right end) and our teams in the Lifestream Foundation fundraiser triathlon in October last year. All three teams were made up of clients, who would never ever have thought they would be out there doing it!! I was so proud!!

First of all, HI Alicia and Sharleen. Shar, I have been 100% since that email. I said I swear on the bible, and I'm being PERFECT. No point lying as I'm only lying to myself. As I mentioned to you, I do feel so more powerful for it, I rule food, it doesn't me. When I look back at the "stresses" it seems so small and inappropriate now, but at the time my world was crashing down... seems so silly!

I was up early Saturday morning to attempt a longer run to get my KMs back up. 45mins and i was absolutely stuffed. I went back to bed after a shower and felt like I'd been hit by a bus. I was cold and had a headache, I think i was slightly dehydrated as I hadn't drank or eaten anything. I perked up a bit later on and went and did some window shopping and got a hair-cut so I feel all feminine again! My OH played cricket all day then watched the footy last nite with the boys (which I can't stand) so I bludged here on the puter (on a sat nite, how SAD!) and went to bed early for my big run this morning. It was our normal Sunday club comp run, either 6kms or 17kms. Well I wanted to do more than 6, but have to build up to the 17, so I did 11kms. Felt great. Had to crawl out of bed before 5.30am so I could wake up properly, eat and hydrate and let it digest. Made the 11 in under an hour but wasn't busting my butt so was quite happy with that! Made sure I had my protein drink and piece of fruit (as instructed after my "hard" cardio sess for the week) and waited for all the 17kmers to come in. It was nice as it rained the whole time - no I'm not insane, but it is actually enjoyable running in the rain! It's still drizzling now which I'm hoping will stay all day. OH wants me to go watch cricket - I'd rather have a kindy kip....shhhh don't tell him!! Plus have 1.5hrs netball training tonite and I really don't mind it being cancelled!!! hehe

I've just been rearranging my playlists on my I-River so my dull boring mind-numbing treadmill sessions can be that little more exciting. It's a hard job gettin anything to work on such a slow old puter...

Anyway gonna go have that kindy kip, feeling a lil fatigued!

IN TROUBLE :(

Another one of my beautiful lil goddaughter. Her pics make me smile, she's currently in NZ for a holiday with Mum and Grandma! (errr, i don't know how to turn it round...)

Well I just got the swift kick up the arse I needed. I fessed in my weekly feedback email to Sharleen that last week I fell off the rails at nite and was picky. When I say picky though, its not what you imagine abundances of food... As in I was grabbing at TWO servings of diet jelly and then maybe chucked in some extra fruit that isn't on plan in... things like that. It's not like I eat biscuits and chocolates and chips and all that crap, I CRAVE fruit at the moment!! Especially those big fat juicy green grapes in the fridge... WOOPS back on track. Anyway I'm shit at handling stress and so had a few moments of weakness like that last week. Good food or not, it's still NOT ON PLAN and still extra calories that I really can't afford. I'm def not making excuses. So Sharleen got up me (as needed) and Sue also mailed me on it, so then I know I'm really in double trouble. :( But it's everything I know, WHY WHY WHY do I self-sabotage all the time. I've dropped weight, everyone's saying "STOP", my head says "those grapes are only grapes" etc I GIVE IN!!!!! I WAS SO STRONG BEFORE! However I have crossed that hurdle and things have been back on track this week. It was only 4 nites over a total of 2 weeks that I was "bad", so things have come A LONG way since starting way back in January. I'm not beating myself up TOO much. As mentioned in a previous post, what's done is done, I have to get on and get over it and FOCUS!

My doc trip on Wednesday was good actually... along the lines of stress etc I have been prescribed what I call some "Happy Pills" hehehe I'm only going to use it as a last resort, but my anxiety/panic/stress attacks aren't fun, and 5-6 hours nightly sleep and no nana naps is not good for my health. Then she mentioned speaking to a counsellor if things don't improve....!!! I just prefer to use this lol, my let-off-steam outlet. I'm really not in a bad mental state, time and stress management is something I really need to work on. I've just placed so much pressure on myself completely SUCCESSFULLY this 12 weeks, as well as all the extra clients coming in(I just wanna help EVERYONE!!) so with extra clients comes a LOT of extra paperwork/admin etc, but still no more hours in day!!

Anyway, that's my whinge (yes another one). Off to gym soon-that's another perk with my job, during the day I get the chance to duck off to the gym when no one else is there!! - for Back and Bis and some cardio this evening with a client so I can let off more steam. Better get to work

I'm a-seeing results!!

Oh it was such a photo moment!!!

:) Im a happy lil girwlie! It's my "admin" day today where I don't take clients (also known as catch-up day!!) so I put on something different to wear to work, and got out my fairly new, as in only worn twice 3/4 size 8 pants and they swam on me!!!! They were always a lil big, but man, these are now huge!! Had to get mummy to take a pic as it was such a kodak moment for me!!! so i'd like to share it....heheheeeee !!!!!!!
Been soooo knocked around again lately, but enjoyed a sleep-in till 7.15am this morning, oh how I love Wednesdays, alot nicer than crawling out of bed at 4.30am after 6 hours sleep!
We had our first official round-robin game at netball last nite, and won quite easily. I felt great on court, my fitness is heaps better... How? I have to do LESS cardio, but somehow it's working!! Ran 8km cross-country run on Sunday afternoon (as in literally through waist deep water and over muddy terrain) and totally blitzed it. Ran past ppl that normally come in in front of me, and ended up second female overall. So happy with that, as I didn't even bust my arse to do it! So less training is definitely meaning better results!! I'm also running my fastest times that I have in months. My legs feel so powerful, everyone dreads the hills, I love them coz I accelerate up them!! Maybe I was over-training before?!?! Maybe Sue knows what she's talking about! LOL. (I'm just kidding, I was mortified however when originally she told me to CUT BACK on cardio!!!). So happy with progress, especially the pants this morning!

I got a nice surprise at breakfast. Was enjoying the newspaper scouting the sports section for the Road Runners results and there's my big ugly mug staring at me!! An "action" shot was taken of me at netball last week and it's there for all to see in the sports section. *How embarassing* "Action" shot always means very unflattering!!!!!!

Well best be off to do some work. It's rainy here today, still getting the cyclonic weather so I dare say running will be a bit wet tonite. Legs day at gym today, might hang out there after it and do some dry running :) Just went to chiro, off to doctor now (so much for "admin" day, its my only chance to catch up on life!!!)

Seina xoxo

A WHOLE WEEK LATER!

Pic is of my b'day celebrations of last Saturday nite :) I'm on the right.

Now to this week....I honestly don't know how I'm still awake and alive!!
It was a big one to say the least. My other trainer who takes 50-60 sessions per week was ill ALLL week, so I had to try and cram in as many as I could on top of my 50-60 sessions! I was a stressed mess.

I nearly blogged a few times, but decided against it. I don't want to be blogging all my negative emotions all the time and giving people who read the wrong impression about me. I love my work, my business, but when big doozies are thrown in, I crack under pressure, and to read any posts that are blogged when Im in that frame of mind would have people wondering how on earth I am successful/motivating/inspiring as as Personal Trainer!!!

Anyway, I found out in between netball games on Tuesday nite that he was going to be off for the rest of the week (which is the busy end) and so my head was in the clouds wondering what/how to do everything that I asked my coach to sit off. I NEVER DO THAT. But my head wasn't there, it's not fair to the team. It sounds so silly to write and read now, but at the time, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But as always we pull through tho in situations like that!

I got no exercise done till Thursday when i MADE time. My FIRST cardio session for the week was friday (OH NO!!)! I have done all my weight training now and feel heaps better for it.

I had to come into work for a 7am start (yay, sleep-in!!), then raced off to work out, and now am back here! On that, had an awesome back and bis session today, I was giving 110%, - earlier in the day, more relaxed as not so rushed - all makes a difference!

Oh I didn't add that my eating TOTALLY fell off about 4 days. I ate to plan until I got home, and emotionally ate things I shouldn't. I feel terrible like I've blown my great results from last week, but I'm NOT going to spend any more time dwelling on it, more focusing on my last four weeks being perfect. Can't change the past :)

OHHHH... I got waxed yesterday and booked for a trial spray tan then THE photo one! Found a photographer in the same building who happens to be my beauty chick's hubby :) I saw some of his work and I think it will be great! He totally cared about what I was trying to achieve in the pics, and was great. He's seen many bums and boobs so I know I won't have to stress about him seeing me in swimwear! I left there SOOOO excited and pumped! We're going to do approx an hour shoot (depending on how we're going) and I get all the photos on a CD. I asked how many pics, and he said well that depends on how many we can do in an hour!! Great bargain. All for $130, I thought that was fantabulous! I'm so excited :)

So after a low week, it's ended on a high. I have nothing planned except a bit of catch-up sleep!

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I've dont it!!! I just knew it would happen this week, I made a 100% effort and could just "feel" it!!
My scale reading finally dipped below 49kgs!!! WAY down actually...48.2kgs this morning!!
Now I'm wondering what 47kgs looks like *winks*

Thursday and Friday were better at work, better meaning I was able to breathe easier!! I went to Rob's parents farm with him on Friday nite, and actually enjoy JUST DOING NOTHING! Unfortunately we both had to work Sat morning, so we were up with the birds to get back into town in time. Spent the majority of yesterday there then the phone calls started. My friends decided we were going out last nite to celebrate my birthday.... yea thanks for the notice. Their hubbys are away/babysitting the girrwl, but didn't think that maybe I had already made plans. Anyway to cut a long story short, we went for cocktails (mine was a very tempting diet coke...) and then for tea. I got a grilled chook salad, very boring, but it was nice and on my 'safe' list. Had a few stomache issues yesterday (ie....many toilet trips) so tried to be as plain as possible! Then we went off to the movies and saw Derailed! I highly recommend it! With Jen Aniston, I guessed it would be a girlie movie, but far from it! I really enjoyed it. I visited Rob on the way home, but with major stomache cramps left early to get to bed!

I was interrogated at dinner "Have you lost weight", "You look too skinny" "You're muscles look smaller"
My answers: "Yes i have", "No, you're just not used to it (trust me, I'm FAR from too skinny" and well the last one threw me off coz I feel like my musckes are more developed "Well myst be coz my body fat is coming off everywhere therefore the overall SIZE of my limbs are decreasing"... Anyway, at least we had something to talk about!! lol All in all was a good nite :)

BUGGER....there's something strange going on with my puter here at home. It never lets me add pics onto here GRRR

How quickly moods can change!!!!!!!

Another pic of my lil girwl. What a poser huh! Her first pair of sunglasses. AWWWW


Well, I've been in at work all of 25mins, and I've gone from feeling great, to feeling stressed and those horrible anxiety flutters I get. So starting at the beginning...
Had a long tiring weekend. Sunday afternoon ends with my Road Runners comp run, and I somehow managed to do my best time for this year. 24min 54secs. Still well off my PB, but at least I'm improving. Found out that that actually made me 3rd female overall. Feels like a bit of a farce and 3rd female from but I was probably around 5th last as well in the field of 30 - obviously all dominated by males. Still, I'll take it!! Had netball training for an hour and a half after that, so I should have crashed, but do you think that happened? Last time I looked at the clock was 12pm, I had to be up at 5.15am *sigh*

Monday was my birthday!!!!!!! Tried to reschedule clients so I actually had a break, and wasn't working the 14hours through that I usually do on Mondays. Wasn't much of a break, sometimes I feel nothing can function without me. I did get to train with my OH though, chest and tris :)
Had nice fish and veges for dinner, and of course some choccy birthday cake. That's it for cheating now tho. I took a panadol to help me sleep that nite, and I crashed. Woke up at 4.30am a lil groggy, I really shouldn't do that.

Tuesday was another long day. Very busy but still managed to get to the gym and train my legs with my new program. I'm not one for liking change, I like my routine, but I ended up feeling OK with it. Of course I know I need to change program, but I'm such a "C" stlye!! (If anyone knows the DISC system for personality profiling...). My neck is quite sore today from holding such heavy dumbbells for so many exercises. My assss is soooo sore, however quads are pain free. :) We had our first netball games last nite. I play premier league which is out top comp here, and we just a few short games for 'grading'. We lost one comprehensively, and won one comprehensively. My legs were fine!! My fitness was great!!

So I come to work all happy coz I had a great sleep in. I contacted the director of our local fitness training facility provider weeks ago to recruit more staff. Just got an email from him...
quote.. "
Selina, There are very few Cert 4 qualified people in Mackay. I have a number of students who have the potential but are only at Cert 3 level."
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO busy and SOOOOO need help. I can't handle working 60+ hours per week anymore. My paperwork and systems are SO far behind, the phone is ringing all the time with new clients (which is awesome). I'm trying to organise my business, weight train 3x week, netball takes up 3 nites per week, running takes up 2! Plus did I mention I have to make time for my boyfriend!!!!!!! My main trainer is booked out, I'm booked out for the hours i AM available for. I just don't know how much longer I can hold on. I feel like I'm constantly under a pump, churning out work like a robot. All i want is a trainer who can work even just a few hours per week to help out. Is that too much!!!!!
GRRRR anyway, there's my whinge :) It is great to be busy, but not when I feel like I'm gonna break down, at the ripe old age of 26!!! heheh But on the same token, I have to take the work when it's there, come winter it usually slackens off.
Anywho I'm here at work, its wednesday, which is paperwork day, so I had really better do some instead of whinging how busy I am!!!
tootlesssssssss

I'm baaaack!

It's Saturday, and after a frustrating morning at work (my damn books for end-of-month is out $1500, and I can't find it ANYWHERE...grrr), then going shopping to find that my rings sent off weeks ago to be re-sized for my small fingers were never sent off...GRRR.... im in a better mood! A bit of retail therapy never hurt! I bought the last sugar-free maple syrup at our health food store. I am the only one that does, as everytime I go, none others have been sold. How do I know they haven't been re-stocked... well the price tag says it all. They're a bit outta date (still taste normal) so they're reduced. I'm hoping they still will sell them although it's obviously a slow line, or I'll have no last resort place to go!! I'll have to order from Sue's site, so that means I have to be organised!!

I trained back and bis last nite and I'm a bit sore. I was tired and didn't want to go, but was glad to be there and pushed out as much as I could. I'm house-sitting this weekend, which comprises of just feeding the cat and sleeping there, hence being at home right now. Will be heading back there tonite, but no sleep-in. Have to wake early as 5 of my clients are participating in a "Ladies only" mini-triathlon 6.30am tomorrow morning. Have to go and cheer em on!

Anywho, am in process of surfing many sites, keeping my mind busy, coz when it's not, that's when the attacks of wanting to binge come on....avoiding at all costs!!!

OK been sittin here for 20mins waiting for a pic to upload...i'm over it, no pic today
:(

It's Friday!!

AWWW that's my gorgeous lil goddaughter. The pics at least 6 months old now, so she's a bigger lil giwrl!! She's turning 2 on the last day of this month and I can't wait to spoil her...again!!! Aunty Selina always pulls through!

Last day of the week, has been a busy (as usual) week, but my body is adapting a lot better now, and I'm surviving on less sleep. Had a mini-crisis during the week, panic, stress, anxiety all piled together... Anywayz I'm over that now. Couldn't make my Road Runners run on wednesday nite :( That was my last one before the Club Championship this sunday. Well I'm struggling to make any decent time let alone be first in my age group again. No defending that crown for me :( Nevermind, life is a bit busy, priorities, proirities. Gotta take the work when I can!

Last nite, I re-did my goal book, and motivation and inspiration book. My old one was a bit not-that-motivating after all. Wow, there's some hot bods out there that I wanna be like. Copied a lot of pics from Sue's site, there's some awesome transformations there!! I wanna be one of them, I wanna be a finalist in her challenge!! (Yet another goal!!)

Other training is good, haven't missed one strength session. Going tonite for the last time this week for back and bis. Went mid morning for cardio :) Didn't mind it, usually get bored outta my brain on the tready.

Anywho, gotta run and prepare for last 5 clients!! HOuse-sitting this weekend, so have to organise myself so I have all my meals/clothes (see I have my priorities in order by putting meals first!) ready to go. Fail to plan, plan to fail!!