Another week down!!!!!!!!

My Lordy time is flying. I'm up to week 6 on my program...gulp.
I'm so scared, I'm so far off where I want to be, I'm afraid time will go too quick, and I won't get there. I really really need to tighten up my diet this last 6 weeks, I've been good, but I really want this, so have to be EXTRA cautious, other than my biffy on Monday NO FREE MEALS. NO ALCOHOL (only had 3 on sat nite, first all year). I go so well on training, then fall off with food.

I am really happy with how my musckles are growing! Whether its in my head or not, I can feel them heaps more. ONly six weeks and they've appeared again. Amazing what being consistent with strength training can do!!! I havent missed ONE session, as much as I have to DDDRRRAAAGGG myself there sometimes, I always feel great to finish!!! I have been tired alot lately. Work is crazily busy. I think screening "The Biggest Loser" has been the best advertisement for my business!! WHo needs to pay out money on marketing, TV is doing it all for me. I am the only trainer who can work AM shifts, so I'm starting early every morning (like 5.30am, which means I have to get up in the...FOURS ewww). Its' hard to eat food at that time, but I don't get a break till 10am, and by then I would be keeled over in a shaking mess on the floor!!! I have a few earlier evenings now, BUT the only reason is because I have something else on! There's not one nite that I have ME time, if I'm not at work, I'm either at netball/training/run club. I'm such a piker on weekends, it's into bed early on Friday and Saturday nites for me!!! I've even been going into work on Saturdays, although I try not too (that's the boys' day to work), coz i have SOOOO much to catch up on. I never seem to get ahead. I'm being SELFISH, its ALL ABOUT ME for this 12 weeks. Whereas before I would have seen the mess and TO DO list on my desk, it now gets ignored till after training! I am looking for staff, but every time I've advertised, there is a real lack of qualified trainers in Mackay. (like... "do I need to have qualifications to be a personal trainer"... like yea you must be serious if you haven't even researched it...)hehe I know one will come along, and that it will be a good one. Patience!!

I know I do need to rest more, try to have nana naps, but so far this isn't happening. Too much going on in my head. Even at nite time, ahhh it's so frustrating, I NEED to sleep, but can't get there. I have to admit to having a panadol on a few occassions, then I'm dead till the alarm at 4.30am. :) Better than counting sheep!!! hehehe

My back has been a lil 'weak' and sore today. Had to only do 3 instead of my 4 sets on stiff leg deadlift coz it was pulling too much. Off to my guardian angel chiropractor tomorrow for my 3-weekly maintenance, so all should be good again.

Hmmm this is a bit of a whingey-whiney post tonite. I'm just a little overwhelmed and stressed...which is where food tends to slacken a bit. NO NO NO NOT ANYMORE. I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS, I WILL GET BELOW 49kgs THIS WEIGH-IN, I WILL BE A MONTHLY WINNER, and another one.... I WILL BE A FINALIST IN IBO NEW YOU COMP. Phew, there's some stiff opposition there, all the more reason to aim for the moon!!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY!!! I've tried to reschedule myself so I'm not at work for all 14 hours for just one MOnday. Trying to change clients to book in with someone else for just ONE session is a nightmare. They all want me!! Which is of course, great, but not so when I'm away/off... Anywayz managed to get the day off - planning on spending time with Rob and training together, then going back for 6 clients, then the evening is mine to have some family and ME time :)

Sheesh, this ain't a post, this is a novel. Dear diary.... well I did need to let a bit out, always feels better in my head anyway, to express how I'm feeling and my anxiety!!!

HALF WAY THERE, I CAN DO THIS! I WILLLLLL DO THIS!!