IN TROUBLE :(

Another one of my beautiful lil goddaughter. Her pics make me smile, she's currently in NZ for a holiday with Mum and Grandma! (errr, i don't know how to turn it round...)

Well I just got the swift kick up the arse I needed. I fessed in my weekly feedback email to Sharleen that last week I fell off the rails at nite and was picky. When I say picky though, its not what you imagine abundances of food... As in I was grabbing at TWO servings of diet jelly and then maybe chucked in some extra fruit that isn't on plan in... things like that. It's not like I eat biscuits and chocolates and chips and all that crap, I CRAVE fruit at the moment!! Especially those big fat juicy green grapes in the fridge... WOOPS back on track. Anyway I'm shit at handling stress and so had a few moments of weakness like that last week. Good food or not, it's still NOT ON PLAN and still extra calories that I really can't afford. I'm def not making excuses. So Sharleen got up me (as needed) and Sue also mailed me on it, so then I know I'm really in double trouble. :( But it's everything I know, WHY WHY WHY do I self-sabotage all the time. I've dropped weight, everyone's saying "STOP", my head says "those grapes are only grapes" etc I GIVE IN!!!!! I WAS SO STRONG BEFORE! However I have crossed that hurdle and things have been back on track this week. It was only 4 nites over a total of 2 weeks that I was "bad", so things have come A LONG way since starting way back in January. I'm not beating myself up TOO much. As mentioned in a previous post, what's done is done, I have to get on and get over it and FOCUS!

My doc trip on Wednesday was good actually... along the lines of stress etc I have been prescribed what I call some "Happy Pills" hehehe I'm only going to use it as a last resort, but my anxiety/panic/stress attacks aren't fun, and 5-6 hours nightly sleep and no nana naps is not good for my health. Then she mentioned speaking to a counsellor if things don't improve....!!! I just prefer to use this lol, my let-off-steam outlet. I'm really not in a bad mental state, time and stress management is something I really need to work on. I've just placed so much pressure on myself completely SUCCESSFULLY this 12 weeks, as well as all the extra clients coming in(I just wanna help EVERYONE!!) so with extra clients comes a LOT of extra paperwork/admin etc, but still no more hours in day!!

Anyway, that's my whinge (yes another one). Off to gym soon-that's another perk with my job, during the day I get the chance to duck off to the gym when no one else is there!! - for Back and Bis and some cardio this evening with a client so I can let off more steam. Better get to work