Cleaning Up My Life

I've been heaps stressed lately, business is soooo crazy busy, which is GREAT, but I wasn't prepared mentally for the onslaught I've had the past month. It all just builds up and up and up... until last night it burst. I burst. Into tears, over absolutely nothing. Then I couldn't even explain to Rob why I was crying - he thought he'd done something wrong, again ;)

I've been feeling like everything is just out of control...... One thing that has been better is my eating; by no means perfect, but I'm going nutz with it when I'm stressed like I have been known to do... I make time to train; time will never find me. I try my best to fit it all in, and I have been doing well, if I say so myself. ;)

I don't know what went so wrong yesterday - I had a sleep in till 6.30am; went to RPM and ripped it up in the 1hour extreme class; went to work; got groceries... ya know, the normal stuff. Started to get a bit tired, which I didn't expect after sleeping in... Contemplated having a nana nap, but turned that thought off - had to prepare meals...

Looked at my bedroom, it was a shambles. Out of control. Just crap everywhere; not grotty stuff, just paperwork, clothes to put away in drawers that are too full; articles, research books, you name it, it's in there... I started to get grumpy.

Was going out last night, so tried on a kazillion items. Too tight, too cold, too daggy, too out-of-date... The voice starts... why the hell did you eat that cake, these damn jeans feel tight... Got pissed off. The cupboard was out of control - full of stuff I've horded for years. I don't throw stuff out. "One day that will come back in fashion; one day I will look good in that again; but that was my 21st birthday top; I can't get rid of that!!" etc etc etc...

I finally got something on that looked semi-decent, and got in my car. It was out of control... (noticing a theme here) - marketing fliers, equipment, gym towels, gloves, shoes etc... I looked at it and burst into tears. And I had make-up on.

Today was Clean Up My Life Day. Starting with the car. It's spotless now.

Then the drawers... "Workout Gear" drawer is the fullest and most used one. All the old stuff is gone now! It was hard to part with some LJ stuff, but if it hadn't been worn in 6 months, it got the sack.

Same with pyjamas; underwear; casual clothes; good clothes... etc etc etc. Some stuff hadn't been worn in at least 5 years, but I kept it just in case. In case of what, I still don't know...
4 full bags later, I can breathe again.

I vow to never be a horder again.

I'm a control freak, my 'stuff' got out of control, so I felt out of control. Funny how by physically de-cluttering I feel mentally de-cluttered as well. Can't wait to attack my shoes next.... ;)

(I have old runners that 'just cost so much' that even though they've done 1000+kms, I can't get rid of them. They'll be my gardening shoes... what garden. Or I'll mow in them... I mowed once when I was 18 - for a bottle of vodka.)